The Break Up (Round 2)

Like I said after the first break up (The Break Up (Round 1)) things were a lot better for a while. But then our old habits started to reappear again.

Kade had gone to a concert with his friends and before he left he was in a great mood and kissed me goodbye and said he would see me after and he was perfectly fine! He got back from the concert and I could tell something was off almost immediately because he was not all hyped from the concert.

We went to my room and he told me that he wanted to talk to me. I knew something was wrong and I knew that the guys had talked to him about me. He told me that he had been thinking for a while and that he wanted to take a break – for a month. And that he wasn’t saying we would break up forever but he wanted to take a break. I was pissed. I was blindsided. I told him I didn’t want to take a break, that if we took a break we weren’t getting back together because I wasn’t going to hold on to something if it wasn’t there, etc. We talked for a while – at first calmly. But then things took a turn for the worst.

He was saying that I didn’t trust him. I couldn’t believe it. He was the one that didn’t trust me. He had accused me of cheating on him – more than once. On Halloween we went to different parties, which was perfectly fine. But I had sent a text saying something along the lines of “don’t do anything with any other girls” and then another text following saying “I know you won’t I trust you”. But that had turned into a huge argument even though I was just kidding and he had said stuff like that to me before.

So I told him the truth, I said I sent you that text so that you would know exactly how I felt when you accused me of cheating on you. And he absolutely blew up on me. He started yelling at me and called me a “lying, manipulative piece of shit” and an “asshole”. I was livid. I ran out of our place chasing after him. We were yelling at each other and I was screaming at him to just listen to what I had to say but he refused. He told me he didn’t want to talk to me anymore and I kept saying so that’s it? After almost 9 months of being best friends you’re just going to throw that all down the drain?! We can’t end on a good note? That was what I was maddest about – the fact that our ending was so awful. I was pissed, I couldn’t believe he was calling me all those names either. That was the first time that had happened, but after that the name calling became so regular and I was so used to him tearing me down and making me feel bad and being insulting. It was so unhealthy.

It was around midnight and Claire and I drove to Dutch screaming Taylor Swift songs and venting and ranting. The next thing we did was buy a piñata. We brought it back home and started going crazy. We absolutely destroyed the piñata yelling outside at 2am. It felt great. I didn’t get any sleep that night I was just so angry.

The next morning I texted Kade and asked if we could talk so that we could at least end on better terms. He refused at first but after I convinced him for a little he said we could talk. We talked things out he apologized and we were finally on good terms. That almost made it harder. I couldn’t hate him anymore and now I was just sad and crying. I went to my classes that day but didn’t eat and couldn’t concentrate.

The next day he took me to get my car fixed. I cried the entire time in the car (we took separate cars I just needed his help in case I needed a ride back and I also was unsure where to take my car.) When we got back we went to his room and laid on his bed. I cried for over an hour and explained exactly how I felt about everything – literally everything. I still couldn’t eat and I knew that this cycle was going to continue for a while until I got used to things. We both cried a lot and my eyes were puffier than ever and so red from the tears. If only I had known what a shit show that night was about to be….

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